Originally posted 8/7/06
I told my boyfriend I didn't mind if he played his video games. And I honestly didn't mind. Problem was, that left me alone in the living room when the angel appeared, and now there is no one to believe me.
"What are you doing here?" I asked the angel. "I'm no virgin, you know."
"Oh, that," he said, giggling. "No big deal. Neither was Mary. But this isn't that sort of visit anyway."
He kicked off his sandals, knocking over a melted Icee by the armchair. "Oops! Sorry. Lord, these shoes are uncomfortable! The physics are completely different down here. Did you know that we never spill our drinks in heaven? It's an impossibility."
"I suppose that's why you don't know how to clean up after yourself."
"It will be fine. Anyway, that rug looks like shit. You should have it cleaned."
"So this visit is about insulting my home?"
"No, of course not. I apologize. You have to forgive me, you know. But to the point." He picked up my purse and began going through the pockets.
"Excuse me?!?"
He pulled out my last twenty-five dollars and waved the bills at me. "Your neighbor needs to borrow this."
"Well then I guess I'll just march it over to her, eh?"
"Oh, don't trouble yourself," he said nervously. "I'll take care of it for you. I'll bring it back in a couple of days. Promise. God bless!"
And with that, the angel and my cash vanished.
Frankly, I don't think he ever took it over to her. Not that I can go over there and ask. Excuse me, did a man in a glowing robe bring you twenty-five dollars? I need that back, please. Yeah, that's gonna work. And my boyfriend thinks I've lost my mind entirely. Stupid video games.
The angel still hasn't paid me back. I wonder what he spent it on? Maybe some more comfortable shoes.
1 comment:
Makes you wonder how he got into heaven lol. Sounds like quite the little devil...
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